Nothing Specific, just fancied a vent to myself and whoever else wants to read.
So, i had 2 exams last week. One on thursday and on on friday. The first went ok, the second was dreadful. The thing about this which is confusing me is that i’m not bothered. Whether or not i do well is no longer particularly an issue for me. Because of the various negative impacts on my second year i didn’t do well then. Consequently i would’ve had to try very hard (averaging a high 2.1 or a first) in order to get a 2.1 overall. Frankly, i’ve been quite impressed with my efforts this year, i’ve done far more work than last year. Overall so far i’m on a 2.1 for the year however, because of last year i’m still not likely to get a 2.1. The situation currently reads: Try really hard and get a 2.1, try quite hard and get a 2.2. or try not that hard and still get a 2.2. As a result i seem to be picking the latter option with regard to my exams. I know this is stupid and me being pessimistic and defeatist but still, that’s how i’m feeling this month. Ultimately my exam on friday is done now and i probably ballsed it up somewhat. The fact is, i don’t care. I made some plans recently. I’m going on holiday in June, i’m going to two music festivals in August, my birthday is coming up, and i’m also going to go travelling at the beggining on next year. I’m thinking of going to India for three weeks and Cambodia for another three. In the meantime i shall get a job. Any job. Raise the money and live with my Dad to minimise cost. After i get back i can consider getting a ‘real’ job i guess. The main thing is, my degree is not relevant for the career i hope to go into anyway. It, to me, merely represents the way i’ve used the last three years. In other news, i’m thinking of trying to go on some mission to meet up with the people i’ve met over the course of the years and say bye to people. Like the closing of this blog, it can be difficult when things come to an end. I particularly feel this in regard to the fact that i won’t see a lot of the people i’ve met ever again. It’s sad. I don’t share a lot in common with many of them, but they all mean something to me at the end of the day. Some of them have seen me through some very dark times and frankly, it will be difficult to imagine not seeing these people again, or at the very least not seeing them often. Anyway, i suppose that’s all that i wanted to say, i’m hoping my exam this week goes better. I’ve got 4 days to revise for it though so with any luck it will do!
Comment by Daniel posted on Sun, 17/05/2009 23:36
A degree is far from the only thing you will come out of your years at university with. All those experiences, good memories and the ways you’ve changed and developed as a person mean so much too. Certainly to me work and my end degree isn’t my main priority at university. Still, you’ve only got a few weeks left and with a lot to look forward to afterwards try and find energy for that last big effort! I’m scared of the thought of saying goodbye to all these people, but the goodbye just precedes a new beginning, and I’m dead jealous of all that travelling you’re going to be doing. Best of luck with those last exams.
Comment by Tomas posted on Sun, 17/05/2009 20:09
Hey, I don’t no where to begin…I guess I’m in no position to propagate anyway because I’m, like 14 million light years from a degree. Yes, light years are used to measure distance, not time, but it’s the longest thing I can think of. Well, second longest. Oh, ok. What I can contribute though is a verse, poorly translated from Ukrainian. “Let victory and defeat be the same for you Given that you know you did everything you could”. Now I have to be careful not to be adamant…I think it takes a lot to get a degree, of any sort. And everyone would agree. I think, given how immensely hard it can be even to get out of bed with depression, getting a 2.2 is a knightly ordeal. And I think the fact that there’s more to your life than worklife is also a good sign. Ultimately though, dude, it’s all down to you. Life’s not like went to school – got good grades – went to uni – graduated – got a good job – married, had a bunch of kids – died happy. Hell knows…That couldn’t be further from the truth. So there’s no saying that doing better in a degree will get you a better job. A chance of a better job, yes. But not a better job. And even if that were true, it’s better to mess up, get out and get into something you like and stay in it like I did, than be good at something you don’t really like. Really. So if your degree is not relevant to the wanted career, perhaps the fact that you’re not bothered is a sign, like your brain trying to tell you you’re doing the wrong thing. Saying that, as a rule, you get out what you put in. So ultimately it’s down to you, the choice and the responsibility. Sadly, lack of choice also counts as a choice) Anyway, why can’t we keep on blogging after the term’s finished? I feel used(((