Sometimes you just can’t do it alone, so my Christmas present to myself is to go back into therapy.
Over the years, I’ve been given a number of tools to help control my depression. At times, they have been quite useful and have helped me to come out of the funk that sometimes surrounds me.
But lately, the episodes are closer and closer together and lasting far longer. I’m unable to pull myself out anymore, so I’ve finally decided to go back into therapy.
I know that sometimes we can’t travel this road alone and we need someone to travel with us, to help us, or guide us. I’ve been trying to do it on my own for quite a while now, secretly hoping that all would mend itself if I just gave it time, but it hasn’t. In fact, it’s kept building. I’ve not only lost days, but whole weeks lately, in a fog of sadness and overwhelmed by an inability to do — well, anything. My work has suffered, my family and friends have been neglected, and I’ve come to realise it’s time.
I’m scared but going. My plans for the holidays are to heal….to try and regain the balance I once had in my life…to try and recover the bits of me that are strong enough to lead and carry me in times of sadness. I hope it works.
To all of you, I wish you the happiest of holidays. Hold someone you love tightly. Laugh as much as you can. And be good to yourselves.
Comment by Rees posted on Thu, 17/12/2009 18:30
Happy holidays to you, too! It sounds like you’ve been having a really hard time and are making a really good call. It sounds like you’ve made real progress before and I’m sure you will again.
Good luck and best wishes,
Comment by Lucy posted on Thu, 17/12/2009 13:17
I’m glad that you are getting yourself some help. I am doing that with myself also. It does help to have help sometimes! I hope you feel better soon and that you have a good christmas!