So recently I’m caught up in this mindset that I think is coming from semoitics or psychoanalysis. My research is trawling through this at the moment, and my talks with other students (coursework) are focused on this slow contemplative explainations. Or something along these lines.

I’ve been considering quite a lot what anything means in relation to anything. I started listening to ‘Franz Ferdinand’ recently, something I haven’t done for about 5-6 years. I then began to think about my life when I would listen to this band, how I would behave, etc, and following this, I began to think about what my ‘acceptance’ or ‘return’ to this could possibly mean.

I met my counsellor because I am scared that I will end up like a majority ‘older’ people I know (working, unhappy, uninspiring, etc) and I think I need to push for longer-term counselling outside of university walls. This is exciting and probably a very good step for me to take. The only thing keeping me back at the moment is this underlying fear, and quite seriously the fear is the only thing that will ‘ruin’ anything.