Can Burnt Bridges ever be rebuilt? Is it worth building bridges with a person who just makes things difficult?
Hi Everyone, First of all, I would like to take a step back and just re-evaulate a recurring theme in my life.
My Parents!! especially my mother.
But first, it will be easier to deal with my father as this will be a very short mention. My dad has been in and out of my life for years, more out than in.
this is something which hasn’t bothered me in the slighest, he’s the sort of person than leaves more of a mess than success in his wake and a person i do not need draining on my life.
Currently, i doubt without the use of facebook, he wouldnt know when my birthday was or the fact that im in university. Which he hasn’t even congratulated me for.
I’m the first person in my family ever to complete his A levels and get into university, and most of my family are extremely proud of that fact, except my actual parents.
For me, getting in was a dream, I came from a rough council estate, with parents being on benefits, going to one of the worst schools in the area, as an openly out gay person, seriously, i do wonder how the hell i didn’t get murdered lol.
Now on to the biggest chunk of this apparent essay (sorry)
My mother, after leaving an abusive partner became an alcoholic, which she vervently denies but its a fact.
if anyone has read my story, it will explain more so im going to be brief so i can get to the point.
So in a nutshell, mother physically abused me at home, this was easier than feeling guilt over her beating my brother, we left home at 15 and it took months to re build our relationship.
She lost her house and i was obligated to let her move into my flat, during this time, she smashed my flat windows when i poured her alcohol away, a stipulation was no alcohol in the flat, which she broke constantly
she lost my keys on countless occassions, which in a three storey flat with a keyfob is bloody annoying, during this time, i was studying for my A levels.
The day before i got my results, i said to her, that i didnt think she wanted me to get into university, which she denied, the next day, she rings and automatically says “you didnt get in, did you?” Hello Faith much??
i moved 300 miles away to get away from her and she still makes things difficulty.
recently, we had a massive rowl using the same four arguments she always has and im like, i dont have to actually put up with this?
And so finally, i have stopped putting up with it, she has tried to be in contact but ive only replied with short messages, i wont answer her calls.
I’ve put up with enough and whilst its hard not to be in contact, its for the best, i cannot deal with a mother that resents everything i have achieved, a mother who is out for what she can get out of it, a mother who has to get drunk and then attack me. What the fuck for??
So now, do i rebuild bridges with a person like that? This will sound selfish but i think im going to have to, i cant ideally afford private renting for 3 months whilst uni is out and putting that burden on friends is gonna be tough, only something im working on?
So, in all honesty, ive been trying to cut the apron strings for so long, seriously ask my friends, that i think trying to rebuild this bridge is not worth the hassle…not during my degree and so i think maybe afterwards once im settled into a career and have a steadier home life.
Again guys, enjoy the essay!!
lots of love xxx